Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Calm, Cool and Collected

Tuesday morning I was once again en route to the Rush University Medical Center. I had recruited my sister to go with me just in case I received some bad news when I went in for the MRI. It was extrememly difficult for my husband to know he wouldn't be able to attend any of these appointments with me, but his guilt lessened when he learned that I would always have someone lined up to go with me in his stead.

I had managed to make it through all of my family's Easter festivities with a relative sense of calm. I had decided to be as accepting as possible and hope for God to have mercy on my son. I had fantasized that a miracle had taken place on Easter and Caleb would have no signs if any abnormality when I had the MRI. I had allowed my imagination to run wild.

As we entered the clinic we were informed that the fetal MRI equipment was working that day. At least I knew I hadn't driven all the way up there for nothing. Just moments later, I was being led to the registration area once again, and then on to the MRI center. I began to feel my nerves flaring up, but I reminded myself that I had to have strength in God's will. That meant I shouldn't be afraid...but I am merely human.

We sat in the MRI waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. There were a few other people in there with us and I remembered that I had been warned about emergency MRIs having the priority over scheduled appointments. I am normally, for the most part, a patient person, but considering the reason I was having this MRI, I was just anxious to get it over with.

I ended up getting in the "tube" more than 1 1/2 hours after my scheduled time. I was prepped for the scan with headphones, instructions, several blankets, and some scanning device that resembled a blanket precariously balanced on my abdomen. The technician informed me that the scan would take longer if Caleb moved during the process. I knew I would be in there for a while since it seemed as if he never wanted to cooperate during medical tests.

When people describe MRI tubes and say how extremely tight and scary they are, they aren't lying! I couldn't believe how tight it was! I closed my eyes and tried my best to forget where I was, but to no avail. Not long after being put in the "tube" I decided that I would pray the Rosary to keep my mind off my nerves. I didn't realize that I would be interrupted every few minutes with breathing instructions. I had been told that when they were scanning I'd have to breathe out all my breath and then not breathe for approximately 10 seconds. I didn't know how difficult this would be, nor did I expect to have to do it repeatedly for the entire hour I was in the MRI tube.

Just as I had suspected, every time the technician began a scan, Caleb would begin his jig. I ended up praying and asking God to make him sit still so the MRI could be completed in a timely manner. But Caleb just kept on dancing! When I was finally taken out of the "tube," the technician laughed as she told me that he really wasn't sitting still at all. She said that she didn't even think they got any scans worth studying and they had gone through the entire sequence twice! This was not comforting news.

My sister and I were told that we could finally go home. I was happy to hear that the radiologist should be calling me either later that day or, at the very latest, the following day. As calm as I was trying to be, I was still a wreck and I wanted the results immediately. I hoped that I would get that phone call soon, but I also hoped that the results would somehow be miraculous.

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